my homework

yes guess what my homework is??????.....look up a joke or cartoon & bring it to class. rules: has to be about nursing, midwifery or health care professionals. why? to analyse the differences between what people find funny

funny stuff found by emma doin the above homework:

Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he's not insured?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!


seeyaz

i always get stumped at this friggen title bit

yes i got me a title. hahahha okay just relax everone and feel free to laugha t my awsome spelling. i am nnot 110 persent sober so im having difficulty wiht tmy typing but its still funny right. i amena no different to normal relaly cos im always mking crap titles. so yeah what ve i been upto, trying to chat but being unsucessflyu cos my brain is too schlow to tell me what to do,or write or whatvere which has left me with 8 convo boxes flashing and telling me to oh wait thats 9 noew yeah telling em to speak. oh by the way ina mongst this rmabling i have to say 1.m how good is it that i didnt backseatdrive or spew out teh window of stephs car todya and secondly how good are & symb ols. im a now an official gun at drawing them freehand without copying fromt he computer keyboard or other typed things around me to copy form. wow i cant believe i admitted to doing that. actually wait derrr i dont hide anythingds. im stoping now to answer the flashing orange boxes...hey wait does everyone have orange or whar?heres juans ideas about what i should blog about:


JP says:
wel you know my friend Ishan?
JP says:
he got hammered!
JP says:
or
JP says:
you can talk about Raf, how he got pantsed with Albert
JP says:
in a game of doubles
JP says:
or
JP says:
you can talk about your friends in the unibar, as a general thingo


yay thanks juan isnt that nice. ims o shite i m officialy blogg deficient. im no longer funny its all been zapped from me...or maybe everyone else just got funnier.thats the same thing isnt it. oh im so confoosed. hehe i bet noone read shtis anywayt i wonder what ura ll doinfg. n ooooo yea guess what bodie did for me he made me a cd and its kool. oh yea that reminds me raff we have to cruise listing to r&b sometime with any other r&b'ers we can find. no thats not waht i was reminded of...it was something else dammit what was i gonna say grrrr wheres kelly?hahha no its funny i =v dsaid that so many times today its got into my head and what ther? im mad somebody save me i knew coming hoem was gonna be tricky. ok now sammie wants u all to know how awesome sprinkles are. im assuming she means 100's &1000's, whihc, if not cool because they tste into fairy bread, have an & symbol in it as does r & b. go &. if matt wasnt so incredibly kool im sure id have the hots for & symbols instead. haha oh im gonna have no friends now i sound so gay. fortunatel this will not be read by many but i will post it purely because i have a massive ego whihc is telling me that someonw out there will readi it and thinks its funny ot will preternd that is was funny and thus i will be made to feel good.oh i rememebr wha t i was reminded of, i should post tstarting every c word with k. heheh cool omgy god moneymaking propstion from juan read it below:

P ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
i see no updates on your blog!
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
im doin it now
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
its gonna be long
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
sweeeeet
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
mention me 100 times
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
and i will give you $100
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
il try
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
so its a dollare a juan
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
?
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
or do i have to say stuff about u each tiem?
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
yep!
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
100 time!
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
oh, 20 times
well if the worlds still spinning & im still in it...it wont be right if we're not in it together says:
grr okay if u promise to pay me
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
yes 20 times for $20
JP ~puchpa' vISuch. nuqDaq 'oH?~ says:
noting less


wow here we go but first i wonder if i will evber run out of room on this piost? thats got to be some sort of record :D then ii willl get more mone yt ythen iil be rich and i will be the best.

okay 20 things about juan:

1. his last name is legaspi
2. apparently a tewahcer at our school thought his name was sensual il let u decide
3. he did ib
4.for thos eof iu who dont know that ib stands for international baccalaureat (or spelling to that effect) it does and juan knows that
5. shite i dont know waht to wriet are there guidleines im gonna find out....okay heres one more fact, he has only been pantsed playing pool twice...both times by Bodie.
6. i just said in a convo to juan dias instead of said. but his msn name is JP
7. he said there are no guidleins so i can say juan is black
8. juan didnt dye his hair pink
9. juanshould have died his hair pink
10. there was a petition about juan dying his hair pink
11. juan is my friend
12. he has been overseas
13. he has family in the philipines
14. he has a mini pc like matt
15. he,,,, umm hheee has balloons around his face in his msn profile pic
16. he lives far away from me
17. juan has lots of friends
18. juan thinks i cant write 20 things about him but il show him..il show u all if anyone actually reads this blog
19. juan has ears
and finally becuase im uber cool and now many intersting facts about juan which im willing to post on my blog and spend my night trying to some up with, the 20th thing about juan is that.,...
this was his idea and he goes to adelaide uni he was at the unibar today if u want to see him he might be there again one day.
21. he is not 21 years old

hahah okay now im gonna press publish post
damn im not even sober mober yet
catchyaz
emma